A marriage can survive a lot of things, including an affair; however, it can take a lot of hard work to rebuild trust after something like this happens. If you are trying to rebuild your marriage after an affair took place, a good place to start might be setting up boundaries. Boundaries are guidelines that spouses can follow to help prevent another affair from taking place and to help rebuild trust, and here are several boundaries you and your spouse might want to discuss as you try to salvage your marriage.
Never Be Alone With Someone Of The Opposite Gender
One great way to prevent affairs is to develop a boundary that prevents you from being alone with anyone of the opposite gender. If you or your spouse are never alone with others, a physical affair cannot occur. Emotional affairs are still possible though, and they can be almost as devastating as physical affairs. Because of this, you may want to set up boundaries to help prevent these too.
Allow Access To Each Other's Phones And Electronics
A person can often become emotionally connected to someone else through electronics. This can occur through social media sites, phone calls, texts, and other options. To prevent this and secrets from developing, make sure you both have access to each other's electronics. This includes having access to phone records, email accounts, and financial information.
If necessary, close your email accounts and open a joint one. You could also close your social media sites that each have separately and open up joint ones. You should also agree to not make any secret accounts. Both spouses must be aware of all accounts each spouse has. A good way to do this is to keep a list of accounts with the passwords in a place you can both access.
Spend Time Together
While spending time together is not really a boundary, it is an important step in rebuilding trust. If possible, set aside at least 20 minutes each day to spend together without distractions. In addition, set up one date night per week, which will be a night you can spend together without anyone else. It takes time to rebuild trust after an affair, but it is possible if both spouses want this, and spending time together will be vital for this.
Rebuilding trust also requires patience, love, kindness, and gentleness. If you and your spouse need help with this, contact a marriage counselor like Tim Robbins Counseling to set up an appointment to talk about your situation.Share