When you book your first session with a marriage counselor, or couples therapist, you and your spouse will have plenty of opportunities to outline the issues that you're facing and talk about how you want to make improvements in your relationship. While you'll get lots of opportunities to have your say, you should also expect your counselor to ask you about some topics. This back-and-forth exchange will help your counselor get to know you better, which can help him or her provide better assistance for you and your spouse. Don't be surprised if your marriage counselor asks you about these topics.
Your Dating History
You might not think that your dating history is very relevant to your current relationship—and you might even feel a little anxious about talking about it in front of your spouse. The reality is that the relationship habits that you developed with past partners can be prevalent in your marriage, and this isn't always a good thing. For example, if a former partner was bossy, you might have found yourself seldom giving your opinion. Now, if your spouse isn't bossy, he or she may be annoyed that you're not assertive enough. By talking about your dating history, especially about those you dated for a long time, your marriage counselor will get to understand you and your tendencies—and how they might influence your marriage.
Your Sex Life
If you're not visiting the marriage counselor to talk about your sex life, you might initially be put off when he or she openly asks about it. It's valuable to answer honestly—there's no better time or place to do so. Your counselor likely knows that many couples can have a less-than-satisfactory sex life and that both parties don't always share this detail with the other person. Struggles in this area can spill over into everyday life, leading to conflicts that disrupt your relationship.
When your marriage counselor asks you about your job, you might think that you're there to talk about your relationship, not your career path. However, your job can often get in the way of your marriage. For example, if you're someone who works long hours and is constantly thinking about work, your partner may find that you're not only physically absent much of the time, but also emotionally absent. Additionally, if you have a career that doesn't fulfill you, you may be grumpy and lethargic—including when you're at home. Discussing these topics openly with the counselor and your spouse can help you to find success in counseling.Share